Reasons to never leave the house
On Sunday evening, after my meltdown, I visited my friend Kylie to talk about what had happened. I’d been feeling melancholy all day, and I just couldn’t shake the feeling. Kylie got engaged herself just over a week ago to her lovely boyfriend Pete (of Medium Hardcore t-shirt fame). She pointed out the stark contrast between our families’ reactions to our respective nuptials. Her family is thrilled, excited, proud. My family is … well, you know.
When I arrived home from Kylie’s place a couple of hours later, Mum had called. Heather had spoken to her for about forty minutes. Mum said that she had spoken to Dad, and told him that Heather and I plan to marry. Mum asked Heather the same question repeatedly: ‘I don’t understand it. Can you explain it to me?’ She didn’t just mean the wedding plans, she meant, I think, that she didn’t understand anything about our relationship. Could Heather explain it?
I need to say now that Heather needs to be beatified really soon. In her kind and patient way, she tried to explain our love to my mother. This despite the fact that Mum asked Heather some questions that would have irritated just about anyone—questions like:
1. ‘But aren’t you going to return to America?’ (No, she isn't.)
2. ‘You don’t plan on taking Michelle with you, do you?’ (See Q1)
3. [After Heather explained that we’ll be applying for Heather to stay in Australia based on our relationship] ‘So, you’re planning on getting residency based on your relationship with Michelle? Are you using Shelly to stay in the country?’ (Um, no.)
4. ‘What about having kids. Don’t you want kids?’ (You don’t surrender your ovaries and uterus when you get your lesbian licence.)
The whole while, Heather apparently walked around the house mouthing ‘oh shit!’ to our housemates, who instantly recognised that this was a Crazy Parents Call. Heather came through like a star, of course. I don’t know if she managed to explain the nature of romantic love generally, and ours in particular, to my mother, but she gave it her best shot. I do wonder, though, if she’ll ever have the courage to answer the phone again on a Sunday night.
When I arrived home from Kylie’s place a couple of hours later, Mum had called. Heather had spoken to her for about forty minutes. Mum said that she had spoken to Dad, and told him that Heather and I plan to marry. Mum asked Heather the same question repeatedly: ‘I don’t understand it. Can you explain it to me?’ She didn’t just mean the wedding plans, she meant, I think, that she didn’t understand anything about our relationship. Could Heather explain it?
I need to say now that Heather needs to be beatified really soon. In her kind and patient way, she tried to explain our love to my mother. This despite the fact that Mum asked Heather some questions that would have irritated just about anyone—questions like:
1. ‘But aren’t you going to return to America?’ (No, she isn't.)
2. ‘You don’t plan on taking Michelle with you, do you?’ (See Q1)
3. [After Heather explained that we’ll be applying for Heather to stay in Australia based on our relationship] ‘So, you’re planning on getting residency based on your relationship with Michelle? Are you using Shelly to stay in the country?’ (Um, no.)
4. ‘What about having kids. Don’t you want kids?’ (You don’t surrender your ovaries and uterus when you get your lesbian licence.)
The whole while, Heather apparently walked around the house mouthing ‘oh shit!’ to our housemates, who instantly recognised that this was a Crazy Parents Call. Heather came through like a star, of course. I don’t know if she managed to explain the nature of romantic love generally, and ours in particular, to my mother, but she gave it her best shot. I do wonder, though, if she’ll ever have the courage to answer the phone again on a Sunday night.
posted by Michelle | 9:31 pm
2 Comments:
Courage and strength to you, Michelle. If you keep contact with the folks, keep talking, you never know they could come around eventually. My own frustrations with parents/in-laws pale in comparison, but I can identify. Sometimes explaining why I do what I do/don't have a "real job" (etc) has some of the same feeling (on a lesser level) as what you describe. Take care. toni
Thanks, Toni! Things have improved -- I'll update the blog today with the latest events.
By the way, you asked earlier about pictures. I posted some a while ago. A picture of our veranda after the hail storm, and a picture of Pete's 'Medium Hardcore' t-shirt. Nothing terribly exciting. But I'll aim to put some more up soon.
I hope all is well in Canada. I'll have to contact that friend of your friend soon with regard to finding a celebrant etc. I hope she's still willing to help. It just didn't seem to make sense to organise things too early. Now we really need to get things rolling.
Thanks, Toni. Talk soon.
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