Selling Normal

Love in Action is not the only organisation to promote 'degayification' (as the movie Saved put it). There are plenty of organisations out there who claim to offer a similar 'service' -- just google for 'ex-gay' to find them. Not all of these groups are church-affiliated, but many are.

The biggest problem for me with regard to these organisations is that they promote shame. Everything they do, in fact, is about shame. Some of them claim to only want to help those people who want to reject their own gay 'lifestyle' (these organisations seem to uniformly deny that there is a genetic component to sexuality). Yet, if you live in a family/community/world where being gay is seen as shameful, of course you will feel ashamed, unless you can find support from people who let you feel normal.

This blogger has some very interesting comments and links on this matter. Also very useful is Ex-Gay Watch, a blog that keeps an eye on the activities of ex-gay groups.

I want to make it clear that I have no problem with Christianity, or any religion for that matter. I respect other people's religious beliefs. I do have a problem with this ex-gay rubbish that ruin lives and creates so much hate and unhappiness -- or, even worse, feeds off pre-existing hate and unhappiness for the financial gain of a few crooked salesmen who are selling 'normal'.

Love in absence

I recently read about a 16-year-old American boy who is writing a very interesting--and very disturbing--blog, as reported by Purple Pew. 'Zach' writes about his parents' decision to send him to what he calls 'a fundamentalist christian program for gays' (Think But I'm a Cheerleader, only true). The program is called 'Refuge', and it is run by a scary Christian group called Love in Action. According to the Refuge site:

Refuge is a ministry designed to be a safe place for young people and their families to find true freedom from addictions through the power of Jesus Christ. At this time Refuge is an outpatient program for young men and women ages 13-18. Refuge is designed to minister to adolescents struggling with broken and addictive behaviors such as…

-Pornography

-Drugs and alcohol

-Sexual Promescuity [sic]

-Homosexuality

I won't describe how awful this organisation is; I'll leave it to Zach's blog and the organisation's own site to do that.

The blog hasn't been updated in a few weeks, so it may well be the case that Zach is still in the program (internet use is restricted during the program, as stated in the program rules that Zach publishes in his blog). The program is two weeks long, but may be extended by up to six weeks.

It's clear from the tone of Zach's posts he's in a pretty bad state at the moment. I only hope that he can find some help somewhere, away from his family, and just be himself. And be happy.

Organisations like Love in Action drive me crazy! More on this in my next post ...

Heather's Mum is funny

Heather's mother emailed her a joke the other day. I think I'm going to like her a lot ... here's the joke:

Four friends who hadn’t seen each other in 30 years, reunited at a party. After several drinks, one of the men had to use the rest room. Those who remained talked about their kids. The first guy said: “My son is my pride and joy. He started working at a successful company at the bottom of the barrel. He studied economics and Business Administration and soon began to climb the corporate ladder and now he’s the president of the company. He became so rich that he gave his best friend a top of the line Mercedes for his birthday.”

The second guy said: “Damn, that’s terrific! My son is also my pride and joy. He started working for a big airline, then went to flight school to become a pilot. Eventually he became partner in the company, where he owns the majority of its assets. He’s so rich that he gave his best friend a brand new jet for his birthday.”

The third man said: “Well, that’s terrific! My son studied in the best universities and became an engineer. Then he started his own construction company and is now a multimillionaire. He also gave something very nice and expensive to his best friend for his birthday: a 30,000 square foot mansion.”

The three friends congratulated each other just as the fourth returned from the restroom and asked: “What are all the congratulations for?”

One of the three said: “We were talking about the pride we feel for the successes of our sons. What about your son?"

The fourth man replied: “My son is gay and makes a living dancing as a stripper in a nightclub.”

The three friends said: “What a shame....what a disappointment.”

The 4th man replied: “No, I’m not ashamed. He’s my son, I love him and he’s lucky, too. His birthday just passed and he received a beautiful 30,000 square foot mansion, a brand new jet and a top of the line Mercedes from his three boyfriends!”