Christmas and Hanukah

Heather's family on her mother's side is Jewish, so we celebrated both Christmas and the first night of Hanukah yesterday. We drank and snacked intermittently for several hours, and then some relatives came over and we had a dinner of potato latkes and ham. Latkes are a bit like hash browns, in that they're fried potato patties, and they're delicious. We also had salad, broccoli, roasted yam, and cranberry and apple sauces. For dessert, we had key lime and cherry pies.

After dinner we played dreidel, which is a gambling game (mostly for children now, I think) involving a top with four sides, each with a different symbol painted on it. Foil-covered chocolate coins, or gelt, are used for betting in the game. At the start of each player's turn, the players all put money into the centre. The player spins the dreidel, and depending on which of the four sides is uppermost when the dreidel stops spinning, the player might get to take all of the money that has been wagered, or half of it, or none. If particularly unlucky, the player has to put more money into the middle. I am pleased to report that I won, but redistributed my winnings to the other players. After weeks of doughnuts, bagels, and onion rings, more junk food is the last thing I need.

It was a different Christmas for me. I missed my family, but I also felt that I am now a part of another family, too. It was a strange feeling at first, when we first arrived in the US, because I didn't really know Heather's family. Now that I do know them, I know how lucky I am to be connected to them.

Merry Christmas to all of you. I hope you had a great time with your families, whatever form they may take.

Florida vs Queensland

We've now been in Florida for about eleven days. It's where Heather grew up, and her parents still live here. Last weekend we had our second wedding party, which was organised by Heather's parents, Rosemary and Gordon, and held at the very party-friendly house of their minister, Harris. It was a lovely celebration, particularly because Rosemary was so excited and proud. Her enthusiasm is infectious, so it was a lovely, merry night. Harris performed a short ritual to bless our marriage, and gave us sugar to make our union sweet, and salt to give it flavour. We also smashed glasses; I was intially concerned about this because I was wearing my somewhat expensive Camper shoes, but no harm came to them in the end. From his wheelchair, Heather's nonagenarian grandfather, Ted, made a toast to wish us a happy life together. It was all just delightful.

Being away from my family for the wedding and the Christmas period has been difficult. We will, of course, have another party when we return to Brisbane, but it looks as though my mum won't be coming. My brothers, sister-in-law, and Dad will be coming, but not mum. She has been ill for a long time, and doesn't like to travel. Dad will drive down with one of my brothers, but Mum doesn't want to do that. She could catch a plane, but she says she needs to stay home to look after the pets. Whenever I offer a solution, she offers counter arguments.

Seeing Rosemary's excitement and enthusiasm about the wedding has been lovely, but it also saddens me a little, because my mother can't offer that. Rosemary is taking the wedding seriously, I think, and my mum is still in denial. While same-sex marriage is still illegal in Australia, I think mum will see this as a pretend wedding. It seems that she can disregard the sentiment, the commitment, the symbolism of our wedding, as long as the legality is in question. I have to get to a point where I really don't want or need my parents' acceptance. Because all of this waiting is wearing me out.